autobiography, part III

I had my first brush with death at the age of 3. A year or so ago, my Mom told me this story:

We were visiting one of her friends and I was running around the house amusing myself as they sat in the living room drinking coffee. At some point, I wandered into the lady's bedroom and found a bottle of what looked to me like candy. I ate the entire bottle, thinking I had scored big time. Turns out it wasn't candy, but Valium.

They took me to the hospital and had my stomach pumped. I guess I had started to act a little slow and dopey, and they found the empty bottle. Lucky for me. Poor lady lost all of her Valium though. I wonder if she had problems sleeping the rest of that month. Of course, back then, the pharmacy would actually replace your drugs if you lost them. I wonder how that conversation sounded...

autobiography, part II

While I was busy learning to do things like walk, talk, feed myself, etc., the world was rapidly moving forward. In 1975, the Watergate scandal was in full swing. Cabinet members were falling left and right, scrambling to find someone else to become a scapegoat. The age of the microcomputer had arrived. The Vietnam War officially ended with the fall of Saigon. The US and the Soviet Union docked spacecraft in orbit, the first such collaboration for the two nations. In July, Jimmy Hoffa was first reported missing.

My family lived in Columbia, SC. The first person on my father's side of the family arrived in the early 1700's, having fled religious oppression in Germany. A group of these German settlers chose Orangeburg, SC as their new home. It was one of the very first colonies in North America. My family lived in that very same area for the next 250+ years.

My ancestors were very religious protestants. We did find out that some of our ancestors were slave owners. Apparently that was not considered a sin at the time. There is a tradition of religious hypocrisy in my family that created a lot of confusion for me in my teenage years. I will get to that later, though.

In September of 1975, the same month that Lynette Fromme - a follower of Charles Manson - failed to assassinate President Gerald Ford, Patty Hearst was finally arrested in San Francisco. Her trial became a public spectacle. In October, Muhammad Ali defeated Joe Frasier in the "Thrilla in Manila." The first episode of Saturday Night Live aired. The Boston Red Sox won the greatest World Series of all time.

I spent much of my very early youth with my extended family, and we took vacations to the beach, and to our little plot of land at Lake Murray, SC. I was introduced to fishing, boating, and swimming very early. I would always be a fan of water.

autobiography, part I

I was born in May of 1974, five years after Woodstock, and six years before Reagan. That's what we were, a generation caught between hippies and corporate America. We had drugs and we had high-tech. Hell, we mixed them. There's nothing like tripping on acid and playing Nintendo - crystal meth and Moral Kombat.

The day I was born, the House of Representatives Judiciary Committee opened impeachment hearings against President Richard Milhous Nixon. Nixon would later resign beneath the Watergate scandal. Nixon was considered one of the most idiosyncratic Presidents, both brilliant and devious. He was a notorious football fan, which tells me he couldn't have been all bad. But he was a Republican, which means that he was mostly bad.

Besides me being born, and the Nixon thing, that week was pretty uneventful.

Then, several days later, Patricia Hearst (AKA Tania) opened fire on Mel's Sporting Goods store in Inglewood, California, in order to free her S.L.A. brethren who were caught shoplifting socks. The Symbionese Liberation Army had held Hearst captive in February of that year and converted her to their cause. The next day, Los Angeles police raided the S.L.A. safehouse and lit fire to it. Over 9,000 rounds were fired, killing six of the members.

Later that year, the Cleveland Indians learned that 10-cent beer was a bad idea. West Germany hosted and won the World Cup. A television journalist named Christine Chubbuck committed suicide on live tv. Muhammad Ali knocked out George Foreman in 8 in the "Rumble in the Jungle."

In November, Carol DaRonch narrowly escaped abduction by Ted Bundy, but Ronald DeFeo succeeded in killing his parents and four siblings in what later became called the "Amityville Horror House." A 3.2 million year old hominid skeleton named "Lucy" was found near the Awash river in Ethiopia.

Most of my early years were spent watching Hee Haw, the Dukes of Hazzard (I grew up in the South), and The Midnight Special after we got tv's in our rooms. That was the only show on after midnight, and if it was on after midnight, it had to be bad - so we had to watch it. "We" is my sister and I. She is a year older than me, and a lot more sensible. I have two parents, one male and one female. We had a Cairn Terrier named Mac. Mac loved to swim so much he would jump off of a moving boat. I learned to swim before I can remember. Well, I learned to not sink before I can remember - I can remember swimming lessons. I was scared of the high-dive. All the kids had to jump off of the high-dive, but I had to jump with the instructor holding me. These days, kids are not allowed on the high-dive, and swimming instructors are not allowed to hold the children. The 70's were a lot looser time.

to be continued...