Election '00

Me and my all time best buddy Boo were sitting around my place watching tv and drinking beer, like we usually do. We had terrible hangovers, like we usually do. We didn't have any girls to call, like usual. It was election night and we were watching the returns.

I was a pizza delivery guy, and had been in almost every house and building in the city at some point to deliver a pie. The news coverage was showing the Democratic's return party and I instantly recognized it as the ballroom at a swank downtown hotel.

Me and Boo are so close we don't have to talk a lot to know what's going on, so the following conversation is understandably short:

Me: "Let's go."

Him: "OK."

And so we did.

Turns out it was free, and there was no one checking that you were legit Dems or anything.

Oh, and there was an open bar.

Not many phrases will actually give me a full erection. One of the few that will, however, is "open bar." Free alcohol and me and Boo is a dangerous combination.

From what I remember, we took over the front center table, had the local celebrity "Bubba", a news crew, the entire under-30 crowd, and a giant pyramid of empties at our table. We took over the joint. Boo ends up on the local news talking politics, I'm hitting on a cute young photographer, and Bubba's piss drunk.

Around 10pm, they announce that the governor is there. Everyone gets up to welcome him in, and your heroes - Boo and I - find our way to the front entrance. We had so taken over the room that everyone thought we were some kind of big shot political players. So the governor of South Carolina walks in the entryway and gets greeted by two hammered guys who voted for someone else.